Back from vacation, back at my desk (such as it is, on the little "dining room" table in my tiny - hopefully very - temporary one bedroom apartment), back in the hunt for the huge and creaky old house with the view. And still no offer on the table from anyone else. Me thinks the other real estate agent was stretching the truth a bit. Or -- I'm feeling kindly this morning after my week filled with sunshine and laughter and very few electronic devices -- perhaps she was misled by her client. In any case, it seems like better news for me -- perhaps there is no longer anyone else in line to immediately top my measly offer.
So I'm ready to take action -- might as well put my little offer on the table, absorb the incredulous response, the derision, the hilarity, the disdain, from the sellers, let it all run off my back, through our mini-apartment, down the hill, into the Fore River, and, then, wait. Maybe, just maybe, the offer won't seem so laughable over time. (Seriously -- I can hope.)
But before action, we need more info, specifically from the city of Portland. And hurray, today, finally, Nikki heard back from them (Note to self: build lots of time for their approvals into the offer conditions) and the plot thickens further, which is no longer surprising to me. The person who wins this house will have climbed the most mountains of bureaucratic red tape among city governments, banks, mortgage companies, inspectors, code enforcement officers, architects, builders, uncomprehending real estate agents, overpromising real estate agents, lovely elderly artist sellers, etc. etc. etc.
Today's bump has two peaks: first, it turns out that "my" beautiful old house is known to the city as a two unit, not as the -- whoops... -- FOUR unit the elderly artists have it structured as. Apparently some time during their thirty years of ownership they exercised their artistic skills on a large 3 dimensional wood-based "canvas" and cut and pasted a few walls and appliances, an effort that produced two more spaces but not the inclination to tell the city about their creation. Oh well, guess we just fixed that problem.
Fortunately that bump should have little impact on me as my mortgage guy has pre-approved me for a loan that doesn't take into account the rents that will be coming in on these additional fictional units from the city's POV. (Not that I could actually afford this gigantic mortgage without the rental unit income -- didn't Congress just fix this problem?? Oh well, it works in my favor this time around). However, bump number two is a little larger, causing a little more distress to my time and pocketbook. Apparently the city is open to the possibility of me taking a big chunk out of the 2200 square feet of commercial space and adding it back into the owner's unit in order to make the the residential mortgage equation work -- i.e. shrinking the commercial space to less than 25% of the house's full 5700 square feet. Terrific! I'm scurrying up over the hill, hands clapping wildly.
HOWEVER -- whoops, I'm starting to slow down... -- prior to making that determination, they must see an architectural plan -- hmm, architect, that word seems to flash big $$$ in front of my face -- that lays out exactly how the commercial space will be reconfigured -- I'm slowing to a walk -- and details how it will meet the city's code -- I think I just tripped over the bump and my butt has hit the ground. Yes, this can happen after I've agreed on a price with the sellers but it won't be approved until AFTER the plan is developed and, of course, paid for (to those high-priced architects flashing those dollar signs at me).
Still, I'm undaunted. I'm a girl who can leap over hills, hike up mountains, scale cliffs -- well, figuratively at least. I know how to ask the right questions, find out details, follow up, organize and prioritize, find the right people to do the right work, budget and scrimp and save -- I've done it for years for pay on projects that still, strip, and stop my passions so it is only right, even wise, to do it for something that thrills me.
Nikki and I meet tomorrow to cook up our plan. I can't wait to see what it is.
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