Last night Kanha and I were watching the news together. OK, I realize this is somewhat of a questionable practice. We all realize that on any given night, on one of the network channels, there's a lot -- a torrent, really -- of bad news that comes across the screen: horrible weather catastrophes, wars from here to there and back, rapes and murders, reports on the latest crisis in health care or the budget or our school systems. (On the show I watch the most often, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, I find it somewhat humorous that every night they end with a three or four minute piece called Making A Difference -- as if this brief report on one person or group in one small community doing one piece of good can counterbalance the mountain of bad news they've covered for the last twenty minutes. Perhaps that makes them more hopeful than me.)
But these days the evening news is practically the only way I get any news. I know, it's so retro -- hardly should be admitted to on an electronic, on-line, techno-ish blog. But I don't like reading long articles on-line (although short blog blurbs are great!) -- the New York Times just isn't the same without that crisp sound as I flip each page. And the news I get on the websites I frequent -- Yahoo, RoadRunner -- may be less doom and gloom but it's definitely more "what planet am I on?" -- endless stories about the royal wedding, creative ways to make your bed, and whose face sells the most magazines. And my other retro options -- listening to NPR, actually flipping all those pages of the paper -- seem to have dropped out of my life due to lack of time, money, and hours in the car.
Perhaps, you think, I should just give up, throw in the towel, as many of us have. If the news is so bad, why listen to it anyhow? Why not just live in the worlds we feel some control over, the worlds where we can star in our own Making a Difference segment by cooking casseroles for a seriously ill friend or springing for dinner for someone out of work -- actions that can mitigate the bad news those we know experience -- and leave the wider world to someone else? Sounds wise, I think, for a few minutes -- but I just can't do it. My dad watched the news every night right after his 6 pm dinner, and then quizzed us on what was happening the next night. He wanted to be aware, for better or worse, and he wanted us to be also, and it got under my skin. So I keep up, I stay aware, by sitting in front of that TV each evening.
And I let Kanha sit there too. I know everyone won't agree with that choice but I'm not the mom who is creating the perfect, protected childhood for her kid. Perhaps I should but I figure the world will catch up with her soon enough -- shouldn't she know a little bit about what's in it? So we watch the news.
And then, last night, she asks me, in the midst of a scene of violent battle, "Mommy, why are they fighting?" By the time the commercial comes and I can answer, I can't even remember which war she's referring to. Is it the ongoing violence in Libya where civilians are being massacred or the recent uprising in Syria, a country late to the rebellion party, or the massive prison break in Afghanistan where Americans -- the older brothers and sisters of kids her age -- are dying? And how can I possibly explain? I will admit to trying, and I will admit to not coming close to succeeding. And I wonder if I should just turn the TV off.
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